Breaking Weekly World News

…..news flash….news flash…..news flash…….

1.) Jose Theodore is reportedly 6 and 7/8 inches away from becoming a Colorado Avalanche. Sources say finalization of the deal hinges on Jose being able to assume ownership of several “Payday Loan” franchises in the Denver area, currently owned by Valeri Kamensky.

2.) The Nashville Predators held a press conference today. Nobody went, so we have no idea what it was about.

3.) Anonymous sources in the NHL hierarchy have unequivocally stated that the New York Rangers will be exempt from any salary cap impositions that may be imposed after expiration of the current CBA. This intrepid reporter was told, “They’ve been throwing money away for years, and it’s never amounted to a fart in a windstorm. Why penalize them further?”.

4.) Peter Forsberg has stated that, in lieu of returning to Sweden, he would considering playing for a franchise in Wisconsin or the Dakotas, since it would be, “just like going home”.

SCTP – “If Dickie Dunn wrote it, it must be true”….