Some Trenchant Observations

Well, the Avs-Oilers game just ended (need you ask who won?). What did we learn?

1.) Outshooting a team does you no good if your shots are all from the perimeter.

2.) A healthy Peter Forsberg can beat the Oilers single-handedly (perhaps he pretended Conklin was Salo…or Corey Schwab). Seriously, 5 goals in 2 games against the Oil?

3.) Ryan Smyth would have made a great soccer player (he already has the hair).

4.) How many minutes did Big Georges play? 2?

5.) It would do no good to put a helmet on Kerry (“Hairy”) (“Fairy”) Fraser at this late date. Irreversible synapse damage has already occurred.

6.) The Oil’s power play sucks so fiercely, it should be named Lewinsky.

7.) Aebischer is tied for the most wins, and among that group has the least amount of losses. No All-Star game? Bite me.

8.) Forsberg has more multiple-point games than anyone in the league – and has done it in 24 games. Keep calling me an apologist – you’ll be playing golf, I’ll be going to playoff games.

9.) Boy, Raffi Torres’ face gets red! Anyone checked his diastolic numbers lately?

Sorry if I seem more misanthropic than usual – I am awaiting a verdict on whether or not I will need neck surgery (car accident – fortunately, the other guy’s fault).

Let’s pick up the pace on here, and get some dialogue going, or I’m going to be forced to do something drastic. Those of you who know me well know exactly what I’m talking about.

D-Strate


39 Responses to Some Trenchant Observations

  1. Habfanforever says:

    I was just checking NHL.com’s stats on Peter Forsberg. 41 points in 24 games. His ppp average is throught the roof. Jaromir who?

  2. Flyers_01 says:

    Other than his penchant for injuries he is the most dominant player in the league. I’m not entirely convinced that he doesn’t just decide he needs a vacation in the middle of the season sometimes. No matter how much time he misses in the regular season he’s always there for the playoffs.

  3. nocuphere says:

    Anybody see Darcy Hordichuk knock Worrell out the other night? Sweeeeeet!!

    Forsberg is hands down the best player in the league!!

  4. d_only_Flames_Fan says:

    Iggy has 5 goals in two games against phoenix, and i think phoenix is the better defensive team.

    I still think Forsberg’s way better, but defending my team… its this thing i do.

  5. d_only_Flames_Fan says:

    hey so long as im here…

    roughnecks are gonna beat mammoth come friday. just watch.

  6. matteo says:

    You can improve your lie in the rough, but only if you can roughly prove you’re not lying.

    Don’t tug on superman’s cape, don’t spit into the wind, don’t pull the mask off the old lone ranger and you don’t mess around with Jim

    Never play pool against a guy with the first name of a city

    Never date a woman with more tattoos than your mother(tough for some of you I am sure)

    Last but not least…..never trust a word Bobby Clarke says when he is talking about trades

  7. Lint07 says:

    I saw that.

    Very impressive!

  8. Petr89 says:

    “Never play pool against a guy with the first name of a city.”

    Have you been reading the Super Blog? If so, shame on you for ripping off someone else’s line without a citation. Tsk, tsk.

  9. Frankenstein says:

    Yo mikster,

    Suck my big fat fucking Frankencock until the Frankenberry juice in my Franken balls has run dry.

    Mikster, you have made a complete asshole of yourself and proven to be worse than half the people you ban when they disagree with you. That is why I am starting a movement to completely terrorize this site and you until you are removed as an administrator and removed from this site. You have fucked with me one too many times motherfucker and you can take that little loaf of shit GretzNYR99 with you down the toilet.

    For those of you who don’t know me, you might recognize me by my other names:

    DirtySanchez, ThePurpleHelmet, the notorious DonkeyDick 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,2000,2001,2002, mikstersuxdikster, Niggercock,Niggertits, TheVaginalPulverizer, TheAnalAnihialator, TheMangler, SoakingWetPussy, ElephantitisoftheBalls, RickHuff, themorman, bigdoglog, big-booty, mikster_ and list just goes on and on………

    It all starts here you cocksmoker and I know there are alot of people in here that will back me up. It is all that semen you are getting pumped up your ass and it is starting to come out of your mouth.Your Fucked Now mikster! hehe You know what i have done in the past, ding ding

  10. matteo says:

    I have no idea what the Super Blog is. That quote came from a cinematic masterpiece that defined a portion of the 80’s. Now let’s see who can figure it out – your hint is that a couple of those quotes are from the same movie. Think Michael J. Fox and a bottle of nair.

  11. Frankenstein says:

    Bright Lights, Big City!!!

  12. matteo says:

    Nope, nice guess though…..I like the porn version better….”bright lights big titties”

  13. cwthrash says:

    You can’t be talking about Teen Wolf, can you?

    Ok, I admit it. I watched “l Love the 80s”, and I liked it.

  14. starsgirl25 says:

    ahhh i didn’t mean to do that.

    but i shall continue

    3. i think you’ll be banned now for that wonderful display of language and creativity.

    4. how did that relate to the article?

  15. starsgirl25 says:

    and watch your language

    and remember there may only be one woman on this site, be nice

    on one more note, i hate computers!

  16. OilersBabe says:

    make that 2 women on this site. that mikster can be pretty mean but this guy sounds crazy.

  17. matteo says:

    Well done my man…..

  18. Primis says:

    10.) I think I’ve figured out a problem with some of the younger players today. Aside from their composite sticks being complete and utter CRAP, I’m noticing too many of the younger players use sticks that are actually a bit longer than they should be using. While it gives them a little extra “reach”, they have little-to-no shot at any pucks that come right at them and not their stick. This is slowing the game down as much as the interference. This is clearly a failure traceable down to the younger levels of play and coaches and trainers not doing their jobs.

    11.) While it’s nice to see the high-sticking has toned down some (possibly also related as to why fighting is back up again), butt-ending and spearing has no increased. League really, really needs to start calling those 100% of the time, no exceptions.

    12.) Penalty shots are a load of crap and might as well be taken out of thr rule book altogether because they’re not EVER called correctly. The few I have seen called so far this year all seemed to be borderline calls, but yet the officials will completely refuse to call them when it’s blatantly-obvious and a by-the-book definition. If you’re not going to do them right, just take them out of the book altogether because right now they just irritate fans because they’re not called correctly.

    13.) Whoever did the rosters in NHL 2004 is apparently a huge Kings fan, because Jason Allison plays like a god in it and scores on nearly every shot he takes.

    14.) Upon further review the Stars 3rd unis still really suck.

    15.) The Blues are in big, big trouble if they don’t win it this year.

    16.) In relation to #1.), the shot from the point with a deflection in front of the net is a lost art and died the day Dino Ciccarelli retired. Guys still can do it, and some are decent at it, but nobody picks them out of midair quite like that anymore. Which is why shots from the perimeter no longer yield like they used to. Instead guys now rely on wide bodies screening the net, and it obviously doesn’t work as well.

    — Primis.

  19. 89AlexanderMogilny89 says:

    Go dig yourself a hole and call someone who cares.Your truly a pathetic human being.

  20. 89AlexanderMogilny89 says:

    Geez,no wonder why shows like Jerry Springer are around.Look at what this poor pathetic display for attention is doing.

    This site needs to be cleaned up.Name callling and personal attacks are just let go here.This site has so much potential and yet this garbage continues.There are a handful of people here who should be banned.

    No offense to mikster or trademan,but come on guys let’s clean this crap up.

  21. defenestrate says:

    See – I leave you alone for a day, and you weird out on me…

    Btw, “I Love the 70’s” is more my speed.

  22. defenestrate says:

    I thought we got rid of this around the time of the “turf wars”.

    And I don’t think Mik’s “worst nightmare” is a card-carrying disturbo. It would be finding out Larry Brooks is a blood relative.

  23. defenestrate says:

    Well said, my friend.

  24. The_Conductor says:

    Forsberg is the hardest to get off the puck. But good ol’ Joe Sakic is the best player in the NHL (hands-down).

  25. defenestrate says:

    In the long run, yes. But that fractured jaw has really taken him off his game for a couple of weeks now.

  26. headpushslap says:

    Hey Frakencock,

    SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

    Your Garbage is intolerable…

    1. Multiple Personality Disorder: A obvious indication that you have some sort of self-hatred complex, which extends, apparently, to the very people who give you the privilege of venting your misogynistic rantings and sexual perversions to the world.

    2. Your Penile Fixation: I don’t want to call names, but these sorts of things generally indicate some sort of sexual confusion, more on that later.

    3. Obsessive Vulgarity: Could be a symptom of OCD. I wonder if you perhaps, ummm, touch yourself where you bathing suit goes? Do you light fires in nursing homes and orphanages? Do you wash your hands every five minutes?

    4. Empty threats and broken dreams: Your desperate writing suggests that you have a social disorder, maybe Agoraphobia? Perhaps you should get some help.

    Using my superior intellect, and the clues provided above, I have assembled a composite image of Donkey Wayne FrakenBobbitt or whoever this clown is.

    Male, with a severe Oedipal complex resulting in role and gender confusion. This gender confusion leads to an obsession with the male genitalia (am I getting warm?) but his unclear sexual role creates feelings of uncertainty which causes the rage you see in the original post.

    PROGNOSIS: Closeted Homosexual, or possible transsexual. Psychotic episodes could result in harm to self, or others. Possibly a eunuch.

    GO MIKSTER

  27. nocuphere says:

    Are you guys nutz. Sakic is great, but Forsberg is the straw that stirs the drink fellas. You think it’s a coinsidence that every time he goes down so do the wins. Come on D-strate I know you’re an Avs fan back me up here guy/

  28. JStatic87 says:

    Ah Dino, now those are the days of hockey that I miss. No one’s gone to jail over something they’ve done in a game for a while have they? We need some old time hockey back.

  29. LondonK says:

    The long stick works fine for St. Louis.

    The problem is that too many people use them. St. Louis uses a long stick because he wan’t to stickhandle great. With the lack of talent…well that isn’t exactly true but I think that you get the idea…there are only a few great stickhandlers in the league. I would go as far to say that some teams don’t even have a great stickhandler. The long stick gives control but it is harder to do things in close.

    You hit it right on with the guys in front. Goals scored from in front are all deflections off body parts now. Joe Nieuwendyk is still pretty good at deflections but Dino was in a class of his own.

  30. cwthrash says:

    Strange thing is that I remember quite a bit of the things they showed on the 70s. Missed the first few years of the 70s due to not being born yet, and another few years before I had the capacity for memory. But I still recognize a lot of what they showed.

    Surprised me a bit.

  31. gr8haluschak says:

    Can you explain how the Blues are in Big trouble, Hmm, they have the same NUMBER of players making over 1 million dollars as a team like the Oilers, MacInnis is done this year, that lowers the payroll by 6 million plus the contracts of Pronger, Osgood, and Demitra are up as well, so they can be re negotiated to fit the cap (if that happens). What else are they missing, youth well I think guys like Mclment, Belle, Divis, Jackman, Senja, Johnson will do the job just fine. So can you please explain how they are in trouble.

  32. Petr89 says:

    I stand corrected. Check out Bill Simmons’ articles on ESPN’s Page 2. He’s the funniest damn sports-writer out there, really great stuff. He’s right up D-strate’s alley. Anyway, he’s writing a journal of sorts about the week before the Super Bowl, entitled the Super Blog. He made a comment very similar to the one I pointed out about a day before you posted, which seemed kind of suspicious.

  33. matteo says:

    Correct me if I am wrong but wasn’t the class Dino was in a 12th grade class….and isn’t that what got him in trouble?

  34. defenestrate says:

    Actually, the wins didn’t go down this time….

    Sakic is a more consistent player, but a healthy Forsberg is more dominant.

    How’s that?

  35. defenestrate says:

    Very nice. Alternate diagnosis: A 10-year-old with too much time on his hands and too many Eminem CD’s.

  36. defenestrate says:

    Marty McSorley tried real hard….

  37. defenestrate says:

    “I can’t believe I shook that guy’s freakin’ hand”…..

  38. The_Conductor says:

    Sakic all around is better. More consistent and does things better without the puck. Sorry all, Forsberg is good and I am not taking anything away from him… but I would rather have a healthier Sakic then a healthier Forsberg.

  39. nocuphere says:

    Thanks bro..thats much better!!

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