Uncle Walt Reaches Out From The Cryogenic Beyond…

A long-standing rumor has been confirmed by documentation found by “thesmokingbong.com”.

How many times have you heard the following comments during the course of this year’s playoffs?

A.) Anaheim goalie J.S.Giggy is “not human”.

B.) Disney is somehow “buying the Stanley Cup”.

I apologize for my previous derision of all you “conspiracy theorists” out there, because it turns out you were on the right track all along.

Documents have surfaced that prove that J.S.G. is, in fact, not human. He is a Disney Animatronic Robot, created by the same technological wizards that brought you “KISS Meets The Phantom Of The Park”.

This explains both his sudden and astonishing goaltending skills, as well as his fundamental lack of emotion during interviews.

It is rumored that the real J.S.G. is hidden away in a trailer in Arizona with Nicholas Cage and Holly Hunter, until his fate can be determined. Rumor has it he will take Jimmy Hoffa’s place as “The Lincoln Exhibit” at Disney World.

These same scientists are said to have performed the same function on Billy Smith from 1979-1982, at the bequest of “La Cosa Nostra” and Billy Joel. During that time frame, the real Billy Smith played Detective Belker on “Hill Street Blues”, and had a real-life love triangle with Blair and Natalie from “The Facts Of Life”.

I’m Paul Harvey – and now you know “the rest of the story”……..

CTP, y’all