The new measure of a man, WWGHD?

The new measure of a man, WWGHD? What Would Gordie Howe Do?
It is clear that NHL players have lost their way. Their value system in trapped in a system that provides no open ice. They reach out to coaches, teammates, referees, sports bra clad ice girls and others. But they have no clarity, no serenity, no peace of mind, and (if they are Federov who lost Kournikova) no piece of ass.

Players must look to a higher authority, a role model for their professional lives. As they skate through the rink of life, they must always ask themselves WWGHD. What would Gordie Howe Do?

Let us examine some recent NHL incidents and review WWGHD:

Jeremy Roenick, Philadelphia Flyers– spits blood at the feet of a ref after the ref fails to call a blatant high stick that rearranged Roenick’s face. WWGHD? Gordie would realize that a blind and stupid ref should not be blamed. You don’t throw fear and trepidation into your opponent’s heart by drooling hemoglobin into the faceoff circle. Gordie would bide his time, then late in the season, use his lumber to return the favor to the offending player. Heck, Gordie would probably high stick the entire team next time he had the chance. Remember, revenge is a dish best served to a whole franchise.

Eric Lindros – NY Rangers – breaks Joe Thornton’s cheek with a one punch jab after Joe challenges him dropping the gloves in Boston. WWGHD? Gordie, who was nicknamed Blinky was no stranger to concussions and could empathize with Lindros’s wonky cranial situation. He would applaud Eric’s enthusiasm in dropping the gloves and getting the TKO. However, Gordie would not have stopped there. Gordie would have taken advantage of the loss of the Bruins premier scorer to pot a hat trick and send the Bruins packing with a loss. The Bruins swept the home and home series and Gordie would not have let that happen. Yeah, you gotta beat them senseless, but you also have to win the game.

Vincent Lecavelier – Tampa Bay Lightning – benched by coach JohnTortorella for a blind behind the back pass that led to an odd man rush by the other team. Vinnie said he would keep playing his game. WWGHD? Gordie would realize the problem rests with dumbass teammates who are not in the right spot on the ice to receive your passes. Gordie would use a few elbows in practice to make sure that everyone on his line would stay alert. Sometimes you gotta hurt a friend to make it work out. And if an elbow got in the way of some pathetic coach who was cramping Gordie’s style, well hey, stuff happens.

Teemu Selanne – Colorado Avalanche – demoted to the third line, complaining that he should be playing with buddy Paul Kariya. WWGHD? Gordie would make sure not to be dropping the soap in the shower around Teemu. This isn’t the freakin Boy Scout buddy system, where you hold your pal’s hands while prancing through the forest. NHL means you gotta be willing to step out on the ice and do your thing. Remember, Gordie scored 44 goals in his 23rd year in the NHL. He was not a wimp like Teemu who hit a wall after 15 years in the watered down expansion league. Gordie would not whine to the press, he’d just put the puck in the net 801 times.

18 Responses to The new measure of a man, WWGHD?

  1. TC_4 says:

    I like the article actually(didn’t think I would). One thing though….Selanne has only played 12 years.

  2. Donovan says:

    I like it. The only thing I don’t agree with is the JR situation.

    Gordie would take out the guy, highstick the whole team AND spit blood in the refs face. Then he’d drink some beer, smoke a cigar, drink some more beer, find another guy and beat the shit out of him, keep going in the box, go after a fan after he was heckled, set up Abel, fight another fan, drink some more beer, score a goal, hope in his hotrod, and go find some ‘entertainment’.

  3. Rampage_Winger says:

    Gordie Howe would screw your wife and make you say “thank you” and, by golly, you’d like it.

  4. Primis says:


    This is so beautiful I almost cried.

    — Primis.

  5. rojoke says:

    Gordie would bide his time, then late in the season, use his lumber to return the favor to the offending player.

    Late in the season? Try late in the shift. This was a guy who two-handed Wayne Gretzky when the Great One stole the puck on him as a rookie. And Gretzky tells that tale with a smile on his face.

  6. Primis says:

    This is pretty much why you can’t argue that Howe was the Greatest Hockey Player of All-Time.

    Gordie didn’t need a Marty McSorely to protect him — he WAS his own Marty McSorely.

    Basically the same can be said for Richard or Mikita or any number of guys from that era. They were the Complete Package.

    In all seriousness, this article is basically dead-on. Old-time players didn’t whine so much, they did their talking on the ice. Either by burning out the red lamp, or knocking out someone’s lights. Or both.

    — Primis.

  7. wheresthesoda says:

    good article, i liked the comment on teemu

    and your right about lindros

  8. spazmainia13 says:

    That was totally fucking excellent!!

    Excuse the language but i can’t put enough emphasis on how hard i laughed(and the weeds almost worn off too so half of it was real laughter).

  9. Kyleton says:

    Gordie Howe would also get his revenge late in the season if he could not get it that game. Sometimes it would even happen in the next season.

  10. Kyleton says:

    I’d be afraid to even score a goal whenever Gordie Howe was on the Ice. Remember seeing a video clip I think it was in ’56 Montreal and Detroit. Floyd Curry scored a goal and started to lift his hands to celebrate, and Gordie just came flying in and hits him. Nearly sent him through the boards.

    I’d be afraid to even look that man in the eyes when on the ice, just in case it might rub him the wrong way.

  11. trailerparkboys says:

    Gordie Howe hat trick “a goal an assit and a fight”

    Bubbles out

  12. spazmainia13 says:

    still funny

  13. dkball7 says:

    Good, creative article habs.

    WWGHD concerning the CBA???

    Throw a handfull of change in front of Gary Bettman and kick him in the ass.

  14. IrishRinkrat says:

    This is great, it most certainly beats WWJD.

    Gordie, Bobby, Wayne… 1a, 1b, 1c as the greatest players ever.

  15. IrishRinkrat says:

    This is great, it most certainly beats WWJD.

    Gordie, Bobby, Wayne… 1a, 1b, 1c as the greatest players ever.

  16. rojoke says:

    Gordie wouldn’t do anything about the CBA. He’d be more concerned about the actual game rather than the business side. If you’re talking about the CBA, it would be WWCHD.

  17. DohCanada says:

    WWGHD about the Hasek/Cujo situation with his beloved Wings?

    He’d start with a flying ‘Howe’itzer elbow to Hasek’s melon to soften him up, then he’d filet his overpaid, over-rated, past-his-prime CzechORSlovakian ass and ship it back to where ever the hell it came from!

    **A note for you Wings fans. You may want to contact Ken Holland on this. It seems ‘Dominik’ means ‘belonging to God’. Therefore it would appear that the stupid contract your team signed could actually be ‘null and void’, since he is already the property of somebody else.

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